Lost Coin Notes Tuesday March 25th, 2008


Daniel encourages everyone to sit Thursday evenings at Joan?s. As the weather becomes warmer, we will start doing formal diason.

Continuing last week's theme of the traveler & orphan, there are some things you do not need to believe:
   1) That you are an immortal person (you aren't)
   2) That you are tied to everybody

Daniel tells us about his relationship with his son Alex, and a story about 'being right' that took place when Alex was 10 years old. They were taking a spring walk, and along the way, Daniel is naming all the flowers.
   "This is Yellow Dragon lipped fire grass, this is??"
   "Dad, you're making this up", says Alex.
   "No I'm not."
   "Yes, you are."
   "No, I'm not."
   "Yes you are."
This is how Daniel & Alex settle arguments to this day.

This is the essence of what is going on in Lewis Carroll's 'Alice & Wonderland', and Daniel is editing his new book, which references/relates/is tied to 'Alice in Wonderland'.

Daniel reads a chapter for us, 'Down the Hall'. In this chapter, Alice sits in the park, white dress, tea set, and she falls in a hole. All of a sudden none of the rules work. Up is down, down is up, she gets smaller, she gets bigger. People she meets don't comply with her reality. The Mad Hatter doesn't think he's mad. Alice finds the March Hair, the Mad Hatter, and the Doormouse sitting along one side of a large table. It looks like there is plenty of sitting room to Alice, but one of them replies, 'no room, no room'. 'Have some wine', offers one of them, even though there is no wine to be seen anywhere.

Alice has her ideas of how things should go, and others see things different.

We erect an entire house with our beliefs, and cannot see the sky.

Imagine that you have no beliefs. If you had no beliefs, what would life be like? You would just see what is. You would get along better with others. If you had fewer beliefs, what would you care about? You'd care about what is right in front of you. You wouldn't need to justify what you want. There would be no more wars.

What does it mean to go through life without beliefs?

'What's right in front of you?!?!'

What are the beliefs you've been taught?

We are not very realistic, someone says, 'you should?.' If you don't have beliefs, you don't listen. If you don't have beliefs, you operate differently- you trust what you like and what you don't like.

There is a value in honesty. Someone else told you it is a good thing. But you don't need anyone make you be that way, you can see for yourself that life is better when you're honest. You don't need that imposed.

Values that come from within are you. This is called practice. Be travelers. Be orphans. Discover for yourself and let that evolve.

To know what you want is something you don't always grapple with. To know, for yourself- what you want- in your heart of hearts. We think that if we look at what we really want, it will be horrifying. Rampant sex all the time, etc. Do we need to look to others for our values? Look in your own heart. Look at what you really want, and then be empowered to do that.

A student asks, 'Is it lonely (to be an orphan)?'

Daniel felt like an orphan, parents distant, family killed in war. Wanted to connect with other people, but wasn't interested in joining clubs. Can make you feel like withdrawing from superficial relationships. Makes you feel like having real ones.

Genpo Roshi told Daniel,
   1) It is better to be a student than the teacher
   2) It is lonely at the top

You need to be at the top of your own life.

Daniel reflects all the time on how to teach. Feels responsibility.

We talked about being/feeling dependant on relationships (a belief), and we talked about why we've felt that way in the past/now.

Students why's:

Sense of safety, breaking up not good for daughter, self worth, acceptance, something external, fear of being alone, to bring happiness- looking outside oneself, missing something, takes hard work to be good (D-but when it's good it's easy).

Daniels social worker friend getting married, in therapy, working hard on it, asks Daniel if he will come to marriage? Daniel suggested they should have the marriage in a hospital. If you're in a relationship you don't like?..

Student reasons to have relationships:

Sense of belonging, don't want to be single, get what you don't have, fear of being unlovable, second opinion, woman completes a man (Catholic idea), being confirmed.

If you tell yourself you're good, you're great, you're only going to get knocked down. If you believe you are unlovable, you would work on your character.

Two things to look at:
   1) Desire to have a sense of belonging, feeling fulfilled.
   2) Taught by society that you should have relationships.

What do you really want?

Student response:
   Relationship self discovery, trust inner voice, having a playmate, someone to love me as much as I can love myself, love myself fully, more hiking in Zion and that carefree at ease feeling, joy, simple life- quiet, not to have to work more than four hours a day, grow my own food, time and freedom, know what I really am, help myself and others appreciate their time, to seasonally migrate- surfing, freedom- contentment at a higher level, self knowledge, less stress, ski fantasy, open heart.

This week, make this the theme: Keep looking at WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.

See, we don't think it's OK? what's keeping you from getting what you really want?

It's easier to be on your own team when you're not listening to the other team.

Sit with this energy: You are capable and powerful enough to get what you want. Empower yourself. Be one with yourself. You can feel the energy level go up. This is called 'Baraka'/blessing.

Our chances of getting involved with 'The Way' is like imagining the entire Pacific Ocean, and a tire, and a sea turtle surfacing up through the tire. In the entire ocean? What are the chances?

There is you, and there is yourself.

Strip away belief. Forget the self. What's left? Everything.

For some of you, you will not get any ease without a connection with the infinite.

You will not get this practice with your head. A way of knowing, without words. A connection to what you want is beyond self. Mind of truth/Bodichitta- looking into what you are- trust it. It is inside you. Sit. Go home to your mother. Your true being/true self is your mother. Stop hanging out with bad ideas, do what you want, and, 'Go home to your mother'.
